A Walk To Remember :)
Yours Truly
Limeeleen :)
Yellow :) My name is Ee Leen but I have lots of nicknames from my lovelies! Simplicity is what i love and is what i am.
Im just a simple girl that loves to smile :)
Beware of me, I do bite.
Have a little faith because all iz well :)
My facebook :) Lim Ee Leen
Create Your Badge
Leave A Message
Tagboard
A walk to remember
Little Footprints :)
May 2010November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
March 2011
May 2011
July 2011
August 2011
May 2012
Sunday, December 19, 2010 10:17 PM
Men go to their caves and women talk
i miss my hair!
Being a good girl today, i stayed at home the whole day! been out everyday since 10 December! wow, thats 8 days straight! its a record for me!
So, I did what i like to do during my free time which is reading! :) oooooooooooooh! i burnt anoter 120 calories today! anyways, back to reading, here i am updating about the third chapter of the book Men are from Mars and Women. I personally love this chapter as i think its very common to everyone. All the credits are given to the awesome author John Gray.
This chapter is about how different men and women cope with stress. Well, problems in relationships often arise when we forgot the most basic understanding that men and women are different, thus we cope our stress in different way that sometimes turn into conflict and misunderstanding among each other.
Men feels better if they can find solutions to their problems while women releases their stress by talking about problems. Let me show you one good example from the book which i think its very common.
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. As a man under stress tends to focus on one problem and forget others, a woman under stress tends to expand and become overwhelmed by all problems. Women will tend to talk about not just one problem, but past problems, future problems, any frustration and they will not be in order or related at all. Exploration on their own problems, allows them find out what is really bothering them, and suddenly they are not overwhelmed anymore. When a woman is overwhelmed, she finds relief by talking about her problems in great details. but this great details however tends to confuse men as he struggles to find relevance and solutions to their problems. It become hard for men to listen as he mistakenly assumes there is a logical order and connection to all the problems women tell when she randomly changes from one problem to another. The more problems a woman tells a man, the more he feel blamed or responsible. It is also a man's nature to quickly find solutions to all the problems and when their solutions are rejected by women, they feel unappreciated. Men forgot that all women want is their full attention to just listen and care and understands. This will make women feel better and less stressful to men too.
When men learn that by just listening full heartily, they can be very supportive and loving.
When women learn to respect that men have to withdraw into their cave to cope with stress. Thus the cave is no longer a great mystery or cause for alarm.
When men fully understand and remember the way women cope with stress, they will feel that bu just listening to women's problems, could actually help them to come out of their caves slowly. Similarly, women will then not feel offended when men are in their caves. and talk in a polite manner to men and wait for their attention as women will then understand it is hard for men to give thier attention to relationships when they are in the cave. Women will discover that by asking men's attention in a relax manner, men will happily redirect their attention to you.
So, I did what i like to do during my free time which is reading! :) oooooooooooooh! i burnt anoter 120 calories today! anyways, back to reading, here i am updating about the third chapter of the book Men are from Mars and Women. I personally love this chapter as i think its very common to everyone. All the credits are given to the awesome author John Gray.
This chapter is about how different men and women cope with stress. Well, problems in relationships often arise when we forgot the most basic understanding that men and women are different, thus we cope our stress in different way that sometimes turn into conflict and misunderstanding among each other.
Men feels better if they can find solutions to their problems while women releases their stress by talking about problems. Let me show you one good example from the book which i think its very common.
When Tom come home, he wants to relax by quietly reading newspaper. He is stressed by the unsolved problems of his day and finds relief through forgetting them.
His wife, Mary, also wants to relax from her stressful day. She however, wants to find relief by talking about her problems.
Tom secretly thinks Mary talk too much,while Mary feels ignored.
Without understanding their differences, they grow apart.
To feel better Men go to their caves to solve problems alone.
When men are stress, they would rather not talk about it and go to their caves alone and find a solution. They will feel better after finding a solution to their problem, and come out of their caves. They will remain stuck in their caves if their problems are not solved. Thus, in order to be unstuck, they will go distract themselves by just going out to have a walk, play sports, reading news paper, watch tv, anything but talking about it. Most of the time, they can so focus on their problems in the cave that they temporarily loses awareness of everything else. At such times, they become increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in their relationships. Hence, conflicts normally comes in here, when men are incapable of giving women their fullest attention as they are still stuck in their caves. But once they find solutions to their problems, their out of the caves, and ready for relationships again.
To feel better women get together and openly talk about their problems.
Women feels that sharing their problems are not shameful , they feel good about themselves when they have loving friends to share their feelings and problems. When men are stuck in cave, they become ignorant to everything around them, including women. At such times, it is hard for women to accept that, they feel ignored and hurt when men choose to turn to news or sports instead of discussing with them. Normally, women can sense that men are upset but they mistakenly assumes that men dont care about them because the men are not talking to them. Generally, women does not understand how men cope with stress.
To expect a man who is in his cave instantly to become open,responsive, and loving is as unrealistic as expecting a woman who is upset immediately to calm down and make complete sense.His wife, Mary, also wants to relax from her stressful day. She however, wants to find relief by talking about her problems.
Tom secretly thinks Mary talk too much,while Mary feels ignored.
Without understanding their differences, they grow apart.
To feel better Men go to their caves to solve problems alone.
When men are stress, they would rather not talk about it and go to their caves alone and find a solution. They will feel better after finding a solution to their problem, and come out of their caves. They will remain stuck in their caves if their problems are not solved. Thus, in order to be unstuck, they will go distract themselves by just going out to have a walk, play sports, reading news paper, watch tv, anything but talking about it. Most of the time, they can so focus on their problems in the cave that they temporarily loses awareness of everything else. At such times, they become increasingly distant, forgetful, unresponsive, and preoccupied in their relationships. Hence, conflicts normally comes in here, when men are incapable of giving women their fullest attention as they are still stuck in their caves. But once they find solutions to their problems, their out of the caves, and ready for relationships again.
To feel better women get together and openly talk about their problems.
Women feels that sharing their problems are not shameful , they feel good about themselves when they have loving friends to share their feelings and problems. When men are stuck in cave, they become ignorant to everything around them, including women. At such times, it is hard for women to accept that, they feel ignored and hurt when men choose to turn to news or sports instead of discussing with them. Normally, women can sense that men are upset but they mistakenly assumes that men dont care about them because the men are not talking to them. Generally, women does not understand how men cope with stress.
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing herself and being understood. As a man under stress tends to focus on one problem and forget others, a woman under stress tends to expand and become overwhelmed by all problems. Women will tend to talk about not just one problem, but past problems, future problems, any frustration and they will not be in order or related at all. Exploration on their own problems, allows them find out what is really bothering them, and suddenly they are not overwhelmed anymore. When a woman is overwhelmed, she finds relief by talking about her problems in great details. but this great details however tends to confuse men as he struggles to find relevance and solutions to their problems. It become hard for men to listen as he mistakenly assumes there is a logical order and connection to all the problems women tell when she randomly changes from one problem to another. The more problems a woman tells a man, the more he feel blamed or responsible. It is also a man's nature to quickly find solutions to all the problems and when their solutions are rejected by women, they feel unappreciated. Men forgot that all women want is their full attention to just listen and care and understands. This will make women feel better and less stressful to men too.
When men learn that by just listening full heartily, they can be very supportive and loving.
When women learn to respect that men have to withdraw into their cave to cope with stress. Thus the cave is no longer a great mystery or cause for alarm.
When men fully understand and remember the way women cope with stress, they will feel that bu just listening to women's problems, could actually help them to come out of their caves slowly. Similarly, women will then not feel offended when men are in their caves. and talk in a polite manner to men and wait for their attention as women will then understand it is hard for men to give thier attention to relationships when they are in the cave. Women will discover that by asking men's attention in a relax manner, men will happily redirect their attention to you.